Super Saints are Deceived

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18

The sacrifices of GOD are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart–These O God, You will not despise.  Psalm 51:17

……..But on this one will I look; on him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, And who trembles at My word. Isaiah 66:2

Contrite means to feel pain, sorrow or regret for sins or offenses. 

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD DELIVERS him out of them all. Psalm 34:19

The past few days have been difficult due to excruciating physical pain from my head to my toes. Initially I wanted to lie in bed and complain and second guess the perfect plans of my Abba.

Holy Spirit began to speak the above scriptures to me and I rejected them because I had  been so focused on the “super saints” who never experience a contrite heart, brokenness, or afflictions. I was thinking that something must be wrong with my relationship with the Lord. The more I focused on people who portray themselves as “problem” free, always have a ready prophetic word for others and always happy and exciting…..the farther away from the truth of God’s word I was becoming. 

This morning as I sat in my prayer/war room, Abba said “I am far from those who are never pruned because of their hypocrisy , pride and compromise”.

He told me to focus on His word if I want full truth. I looked at the above scriptures with new lenses and I had to confess my sins of doubt, idolatry and disobedience. 

I feel sorry for “perfect” and “affliction free” Christians.  They lack His nearness and reject seasons of real spiritual growth. 

This is a difficult week, but a blessed week. 

My prayer is that The LORD GOD would have mercy on us all. That the sincere men and women of God would rise up and testify to the goodness of our hardships and what God word says. 

If you always have it altogether, you don’t sin and never have trials or suffer persecution because of your faith, then you may want to check your salvation. 


When Others Sincerely Celebrate You….

Today was so special in so many ways.  First of all I was able to have my new home dedicated back to the Lord.  I truly thank God for what He has done.  It was ALL Him. But even more special and amazing to me was the fact that I looked up and realized I was surrounded by some wonderful people who truly loved me for me. They were sincerely celebrating with me and fueling the atmosphere with so much love. The live worship with Susan Valles was AMAZING! We felt God all over us. 

This is truly a new season (8/1/2015) and new beginning for myself and many others. The past few years I found myself surrounded by critical, jealous, broke, and life draining individuals.  The more I read God’s word the more I saw that this was not God’s will for His children. It was time to confess and repent and let God prune me. It has been painful but so necessary.

This new journey is exciting and I must trust God and remember His faithfulness over the years.

I am humbled and thanking God for the great people He has surrounded me with. I thank Him for Tiffany, my beloved daughter, being a great hostess today. She is so gifted. I thank God for Veronica Evans who performed a house dedication like I have never seen……wow! I thank God for Joshua and my other sons who did parking duties in order to respect my new neighbors. I thank Jesus for the wonderful, loving and generous guests who took the time to show up and spread God’s love. 



I am learning; daily I learn. 

I am learning surrender can be sweet when we abandon our agenda and simply let God be God.

God’s ways are amazing and cannot be controlled by man. Though we try but to no avail.

I believe frustration, stress and striving only exist when we cannot control our circumstances and when our idols are more desirable than God.

It is God’s TRUTH that exposes our inner motives. 

We try to hide but we cannot hide from God.

Surrender is inevitable when you love God and desire His Son Jesus as your LORD. 

Some carnal person once told me “do you”…….horrible advice.  The worst thing I could ever do is myself. I must die to me so that I can live for Him. 

Surrender is not about me at all; it’s about living in such a way where I am completely hidden in Christ. 

LORD help me to humble myself and surrender to you in all of my ways.


Bended on blistered knees

When Jehovah “Sneaky” Suddenly Shows Up and Out

The word Wow! seems to be my word for the past 30 days.  My God and my LORD showed up and showed out suddenly while I was lying on my bed afflicted with a TIA.  It was not on my radar after all He had guided me to do since 2012.  But it was obviously on His radar and in His plan. 

He sent me three different beautiful souls to tell me that He trusted me and knew I would obey Him.  Wow was all I could say and still saying. The fullness of what has happened has not hit me yet.  I sense a inner brewing of a crazy praise that will explode anytime and anywhere. 

On Tuesday, 7/14/2015, I received 5 keys to my brand new 4-bedroom home.  A home I could have never dreamed of because I was so at peace in my 13×11 room.  God has met me in my places of sacrifice and giving it all away in order to simply have Him.  In the midst of walking my journey of simplicity, I have endured serious physical illness and His grace has been amazing.  I have overcome the worst betrayal in my life this year and Abba has assured me it was necessary.  

In the midst of it all, I never saw this coming, nor asked for it. My greatest moments were in the red dirt of Kenya loving orphans and enjoying my massive Kenyan family.  I have been captivated by James 1:27.

I thank God for all the people He has sent my way to bless me with everything I need. I literally have nothing to go inside this beautiful home and He touched the builders heart to give me stainless steel refrigerator, washer, dryer and blinds throughout.  I was blessed with two Queen size beds.  People have prayed for me.  Its  been so surreal.  My son is painting my house with bright joyful colors. I am so humbled! 


And thank you to all of you.  My jubilee journey would not be the same without YOU. 

Humbled on Bended Knees,


What I Am Learning…..

What I learned this past week is that Jesus is always the answer.  His ways are amazing.  The fact that we cannot control His ways leaves us wanting more of His wisdom and knowledge.  Only if we love Him. 

What I love about being in my Jubilee years is that I get to look back and see how silly I was in so many areas of my life. Maturity has a way of unwrapping truth in a major way.  Truth about self, others and life.

One thing I know is that we are living the vapor every heartbeat and that wasting those precious heartbeats trying to be seen and applauded by other fragile human beings is really pointless.  I now see why Jesus taught us through His word to point people to GOD and GOD only.

Everything on this earth is fading fast; faster than we care to admit. We are so afraid of facing that reality so we move at a fast pace trying to be someone GOD did not create us to be.

We miss the beauty of who HE is because in our race to “no where”, we bypass what matters most……James 1:27.

I weep for my brethren in Christ, especially the Americans. As a whole we don’t have a clue. We really believe that following Christ is about going to a building and finding new ways to entertain broken humans. The majority of the spiritual gymnastics we do cannot be supported by God’s written word, so why do we waste time doing it? Because we are afraid to face the pitiful truth about our inability to control our own lives.

So we remain in sin but give it a new name such as “relevant”, “love”, “seeker friendly” and the list goes on. 

Our church buildings are full of entertaining dance teams, singers, musicians, magicians, poets, and actors/actresses…..who refuse to carry the Gospel to the streets like Jesus taught us. The Gospel is what pleases GOD!! Yet tickling one another’s flesh is what pleases us. 

Many pretend that His glory fills rooms when the popular worship song is sung….the truth is that God’s glory has not touched the earth in centuries because it would wipe out where ever it showed up….HE is that powerful. 

Deception is the easy and popular vitamin to take each morning so that we can remain blind to truth as American believers.  Yet our nation crumbles before our eyes because the saints are deceived and powerless and afraid to admit it, so let us continue to conjure up a new version of the Bible and avoid truth. Selah!!

Bending On Blistering Knees,

Eseosa Rain

WOW!  Our GOD is awesome!  I barely slept last night due to physical pain and nightmares trying to invade my sleep.  The filming that we worked on yesterday triggered some things that brought on unpleasant dreams.  But as I lay awake, Holy Spirit talked to me and we had a wonderful time.

Yes I was in physical pain and the pain worsen by the time I got out of the bed at 7am; by 12pm I could barely walk, yet my spirit man was determined to edit the film and complete the project.  My dear Mum Sarah came down at 9am and she was by my side for the remainder of the day.  GOD has really shown His amazing love through her.  

My Abba Father is continually at work in my heart and mind on a daily basis.  I am so humbled to be an undone, willing vessel in need of Jesus every second of everyday.  In my Jublilee years I am learning just how much I don’t know and how I desperately need Holy Spirit guidance and the power of God’s written word.  This world has absolutely nothing to offer me.  There are many within the Body of Christ as well as outside of the Body, who find it easily to verbally abuse and accuse me because I don’t fit into their mold; however, I am so glad that I don’t fit into their mold.  I only want to fit into God’s mold……be conformed to the image of Christ Jesus.  Thank God for His patience with me.


This adventure has been amazing and I am nervous about the screening tonight at Fort Bragg USO, but excited to share my heart with so many people.  I cannot wait until I return to Nairobi Kenya to share the film with my 300 plus daughters and sons. 

I thank God for my son, Joshua Ian, because his love and support pushes me beyond my comfort zone.  I am humbled at his love for the Lord and the things of God.  He is definitly my hero.  


Beloved followers……..I love you!  Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragment.  I am excited about your destiny and future in Christ.

Refusing to do life without Christ!

Eseosa Rain



Day 3 – The Adventure Continues

The word Adventure means to take a risk in the hope of a favorable outcome.   This week I decided to take a big risk in hope of another dimension of freedom.  The road to healing and wholeness can be painful, but it’s necessary.  Facing my giants is the only way to slay them.

God’s Grace has been so tangible today.  I had to shoot scenes which required me to be in close proximity with uniform soldiers and the panic came with a vengeance.  Memories flooded in my head and my heart almost escaped my chest.  But Holy Spirit made His presence known. 

It was only an hour of shooting and editing but I was totally drained. I felt like I had worked eight hours of hard labor.  After the first session I attempted to go to the PX and upon entering the complex, my world started spinning and dread took over.  My emotions were all over the place but I was determine to allow the painful emotions to push me to my goal.  This is not just about me.  Others will be blessed.

Thank God for my son who sent me a text encouraging me, not knowing what I was struggling with. I could hear the voices of my many Mothers reminding me of who I am in Christ Jesus. And I thought of the brave families of the Charleston SC shooting victims and said a prayer for them. Once I stopped focusing totally on my self, the burden of fear started to lift.

As I went back to my hotel room to rest and prepare for the evening video session, I quietly reminded myself how much Jesus loves me.  I am never alone.  He will never leave me. 


Living The Vapor one adventure at a time!

Eseosa Rain