The Proper Estimate of One’s Self

Humility….the proper estimate of one’s self.

Pride will cause us to see ourselves as someone great and deserving of worship, praise, kudos, comfort, happiness, the American dream (nightmare), more stuff , the perfect marriage, wonderful children, best education and the list goes on.

Pride unleashes the disease of entitlement; we literally believe we have rights because of who we are and what we have and where we come from.

The WORD OF GOD says “God resist the proud, But gives grace to the humble”….1 Peter 5:5

As I was walking through the busy streets of Nairobi Kenya today listening to my host teach me about the lifestyles of 98% of the Kenyans, I felt so convicted because I have the audacity to thank that I deserve to live better than them.

No, I have never said those words out of my mouth or even conscientiously thought them, but my behaviors and expectations speak loudly.

The average person living in Nairobi and surrounding areas have to get up as early as 3am to take a 3-4 hour walk to work because their $200 a MONTH salary will not pay the bus fare of 25 cents per day; they have to pay rent, buy food, take care of kids and basic needs.

They have to work 10-16 hours a day and then walk 3-4 hours back home. I have always wondered why we have to eat dinner at 9-10pm at night. Its the normal dinner hours because of what it takes to get home each evening.

If one was to take the bus or taxi to or from work, the wait is 2-3 hours because of the long lines to get on the buses. This city has over 9 million people, not including the outskirts where thousands come into the city to work. The buses will fill up until people are literally hanging out of windows and on the side. Over 60% are on side of the road selling anything from shoes, food, clothing to tires for your car.



The traffic is nothing I can put into words. There are no rules…may the best driver and pedestrian win. Its bumper cars all day long and I do mean they literally bump one another as they create lanes and pathways to get through. People are bumped often and keep it moving.

I learned that the red light does not mean stop in Nairobi, it means look both ways as you speed up and go through…..GOOD LUCK!

But somehow, I cannot explain, I absolutely love it. Why? Because the people do not complain and are not cranky and easily offended. They are smiling and speaking and helping one another. Yet they have nothing in comparison to my lifestyle and the lifestyle of most Americans.

They do not complain about having to stand in long lines to get cooking gas, containers of clean water, portable lightening, etc., because they don’t have running water, electricity and a nice stove.

I was excited today to get me a basin and heating rod so that I can have a hot bathing session tomorrow. Its really okay.


Its okay because “All flesh is grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers, and its flower falls away; But the WORD of the LORD endures forever”.

I long to be delivered from every trace of pride that causes me to be unthankful, ungrateful, selfish, mean spirited, complaining, arrogant and refuse to love ALL of God’s beautiful people.

The proper estimate of me stinks! I am pressing in to be God’s image bearer in the earth. I am dying daily according to the Author and Finisher of my faith; I will soon leave this “meat casing” that houses the true me in the dirt from which it came and I will face my Almighty Father and answer to every detail of this life I am living right now.

I urge every reader of this BLOG to urgently take your heart and mind before the Father and tell Him the truth about YOU. It is when we can confess our own wickedness that He can begin the journey of transformational humility in our hearts.

This season of “the world’s xmas” we are in the midst of is a tell tell sign of where our hearts really are AND how much believers blend in with the world that there is no difference. It is so sad.

Asante! Naku Penda & Mungu Akubariki!

Eseosa Akinyi Nafula Rain Fire


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