I am definitely at a place in this journey called “life” where I want to actually live this life and not just exist. I have existed for 49 years and when I turned 50 years old in 2013, something clicked within me and I realized that I was at my Jubilee and I never thought I would even reach the age of 30 years old due to multiple suicide attempts, self hatred and living a reckless life.
It is only by the grace of God and His unconditional love for me that I am still here; not only here but I actually care about how I live his life and whether or not I am bringing glory to His Holy Name each and every day.
I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord in 1991; however, the truth is that my heart did not convert until 2007 because I spent all those years existing in the church world and performing religious gymnastics, instead living out of a place of sincere relationship with my LORD Jesus, Abba Father and Holy Spirit. I was more concerned with “my denomination, the car I drove, the house I owned, the name brand clothing, big hats and being within the right religious circles” – I was lost! I was “doing me”.
Had I died during that time period I would have surely came face-to-face with God Almighty and heard Him say “I never knew you, depart from Me, you who practices lawlessness” (Matt 7:23). This is truth and I am not afraid to face the truth about me and what was in my heart then and what is in my heart now. God does not judge a man by his outward appearance, but He looks at the heart of a man (1 Samuel 16:7).
Just a couple of years ago I was tempted to go right back into that miserable place of self-deception and selfishness when someone said to me “do you”. I understood why it was said because I was trying to make everyone happy and it was driving me crazy. So it was said out of love and concern, but it was a poison to my soul. I fell in love with the phrase “do you” and started caring only about me, myself and I. I became so miserable within a short period of time and conviction was literally sitting on my shoulders. Doing me was a one way ticket to hell.
I did not need to do me, I needed to do Jesus!!! Galatians 2:20 says “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by FAITH in the SON of GOD, who loved me and gave Himself for me”.
Brethren, this is a time to really sit quietly before the LORD and examine your thoughts, attitude, actions, decisions, behaviors and relationships against the WORD OF GOD. The Word of GOD gives us clarity on whether or not we have the Holy Spirit……truly born again. The Word literally list the evidence of what our lives look like when we are truly His son or daughter.
Read Galatians 5:22-25………..is this you? Read 1 John 2:5-6….is this you?
Read Mark 16:15…..is this you?
I could go on and on with scripture, but those three reveal the true intent of our hearts. Whatever we suddenly find passion, time, resources and strength for is where our “cherished” treasure truly is. During this time of year I see too many “so-called” lovers of Jesus suddenly have enough money to participate in the world’s traditional festivities, but refuse to give $1 to make James 1:27 a reality. They justify their actions so well, yet no lost souls have been won, no people have been supernaturally healed by the power of God as a result of their witness, no one raised from the dead, no sustained joy,………………….after the flesh break, the same yearly cycle starts over again.
This is not living the abundant life Jesus came for….its existing to gratify the flesh, all in the name of Jesus. It is a lie!
I know……..because I was existing in the same cycle for 16 years ……in the name of Jesus. I had to be honest with myself and look at the person in the mirror of truth.
God has shifted His Body and the separation has begun. We won’t have to choose sides, He will do it for us because He knows the TRUTH about each of us……….Job 34:21, Ps 33:13
I ask that those of you mature enough not to be offended but more concerned about your souls, please go into a season of fasting (true biblical fast like Jesus did), extended times of prayers, and study of God’s word and come out from among the lukewarm people in your life. God is looking for His last day remnant who sincerely want to see His Kingdom in the earth.
It is NOT about us at all! I proclaim an eternal perspective over our lives and hearts, and a global mindset in our decisions. WE ARE THE SALT OF THE EARTH AND THE LIGHT IN THE MIDST OF TREMENDOUS DARKNESS.